Something, 11/30/22.

Last Monday, I was going about my say after work, and I went on FBook just to check out a few things, and I saw that a friend put up an obituary of a friend. I was frozen because the person was one year younger than I. I haven’t seen this person for a long while since they stopped going to Bible study, and the last time I really saw them was at a wedding. It’s sad that they passed away. I’m emoting, but quietly because they were still young. I know the family is grieving, but there’s a close friend of theirs that must be really feeling it. One thing I hope for is that the family is able to properly grieve in life.

BLM

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Something, 11/23/22.

I went on YouTube recently, and Comedy Hype did an article on Sinbad, a comedian I grew up on. In 2020, I believe, he had a stroke, and was going through his recovery as of now. They mentioned there was a website dedicated to providing finds to cover his medical bills, and I may put something in.

This year has been rough when hearing about celebrities passing. Jason D. Frank, who played the Green Ranger on Mighty Morphing Power Rangers, recently passed away, and that was a huge hit for some of us. So, when I hear about Sinbad, I’m wanting to get into serious prayer mode, hoping he makes a great recovery. His first special is in my top 3 stand-up special. Before his spirit leaves the earth, I’ll say thank you, Sinbad, for blessing us with your art through comedy throughout the years.

I Around this time, I’ve been hearing people encouraging others to tell the ones around them they love them. I would add that people need to drop all the grudges they have on people. Holding grudges did nothing for me but have me die faster. I’m more concentrated on my family’s concerns because if I go, they’re the ones who are hit the heaviest by it. I pray for them to be blessed and not want for nothing. I’m down for getting my priorities in check, and maybe I’ll take a page from Shaq and get my philanthropy on.

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

Is There a Secret Handbook, 11/9/22.

At my job, there is a person on second shift who became the floor leader after a year of being on the machine(s). I’ve been there for almost 3 years. Recently, a young lady who came in a while after him is doing some computer work at the beginning of their shift. They’re also in school, college, or at least one of them is in college. Because of where they’re going to college and with them being at where I work, I guess they’re going to have super high positions after they graduate. I hypothesize they’ll be vice presidents after graduation. I guess their experience is coming from their job.

I got upset and discouraged because I felt like some people got a leg up in their careers because of their family (parents’ success), what social class they come from, or their skin color. I may be 100% wrong when I think about it, but I don’t see opportunities being given to common young adults like that unless we’re putting in super hard work. We would have to be extraordinary all the time. And the encouragement to do better could be scarce. I think young Black adults have it hard because not many of us come from “prestige,” and again I may be 100% wrong. Some of us have the proper criteria and the right amount of experience for good positions, but we’re passed over for the folks who may come from money. I wonder if they have a secret handbook on how to get to those positions in the executive world. I would of have to been in a fraternity, make cum laude grades, and do work study in order get a pinch of a corporate job, but I may lose my soul doing that.

I recently saw this article on the internet where a former football player/ analyst became a head coach for a football team. What the article pointed out is that he has no true experience in coaching. I was upset about that, because a good handful of us can’t get a good entry-level position that doesn’t have us doing sales behind a phone. At my age, and even then, it’s hard to be determined and positive that I can get a decent job. It may be time to use my degree and write something big and not wait for that job to fall on my doorstep.

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

I Wanted People to Tell Me What I Should Do, 11/2/22.

At the age of **, I am not where I want to be, and it can be seen as a good thing. One thing I wished I had 20+ years ago was a more focused direction. As a child to teenager, I was into drawing. In my late teens to early adulthood, I was into making beats. In my mid 20s to early 30s, I was focused on seminary. After that whole thing, I’m working a normal job and trying my hand in comedy.

I wished some Morpheus type person(s) told me who I should be. I thought it would have made my life a whole lot easier, I would have made more money, I would have been likable, etc. I feel like some of my peers received that guidance, and to a point there’s nothing wrong with it. I may have a problem when people pick who will be the star, but that’s my hill to climb over. I was mostly in my own world, focused on what I liked doing. Being in my own world became a problem when I didn’t see the fruit of what I did. Another problem I have is that I didn’t practice, have discipline, and I didn’t schedule time to practice. I mostly did things when I felt like it. Now I step outside of my world and wish for guidance. If someone walked up to me today and said I am to be a construction worker, I would be confused because they don’t know me like that. But whenever I’m desperate, I would want someone to tell me who I am, even though I’ve been who I am for ** years.

I desire to have my hands in all of the arts that I do, and it will take prayer and discipline to do that. I would love to have a motivator/ encourager on call, and that will take a disposing of pride. Instead of frequently looking at another’s field and seeing the help they’ve received, I need to put more time in my own field and help the seeds to grow. So, I have to remove the hate of not receiving a little more guidance. Darn it, and I like to hoard stuff.

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

My Mother Is Getting Punished for Having Integrity, 10/10/22.

A while ago, my mother left her shift manager job at McDonald’s. She was there for a long while, maybe over 10 years, and she hated the job, but she did it to keep a roof over our head and some amenities.

The reason why my mother left the position is because she was threatened physical harm by an employee, and the higher ups didn’t fire that employee. It’s possible that the people involved are friends and they want to keep the friend unit instead of letting an employee go for an inappropriate threat. When I found out what happened, I felt the situation was foul, and I wanted everyone to be fired and/ or the restaurant torn down. It was like they were being awarded for their negativity. If I went in there and ordered food and said I would beat them down if they charge me, I doubt they would give me the food for free, but “the customer is always right.”

After the whole thing, I emailed someone who was able to help my mother find work. She got a job that seemed to be in her favor, but it turned out to be the opposite. She was asked to lift weight beyond her limits, and she was getting a few clients. What seemed to be a positive brought different problems. Now, she’s applying for new jobs since the last one isn’t working out.

I think she’s being punished for having integrity by her bosses/ higher ups. From what I’m seeing, she’s not doing anything wrong to bring about the punishment. She’s just doing her job. Do people have to be foul and/ or crooked in order to succeed in the job market? Is it wrong to be upstanding, just go to work and have an honest living? Why are people/ higher ups keeping people like my mother down? Was it something that she did previously or currently? Is the world mad that she didn’t raise hoodlums or wasn’t a hoodlum herself? I don’t know, but these are valid questions.

I pray that my mother and people like my mother are able to overcome the corruption of shady employers and employees, among other things. When I see her looking down, it makes me feel down. I want to keep my hopes up, but it’s hard. I need to do it, anyway. I would like for her to do big things and continue to do big things despite the rubbish that comes her way, like an employee threatening to do physical harm and management not reprimanding them. Let me find out all of them are no longer working there over some corruption. I want justice, yet I need to put it in the hands of the Lord. No lie, I will pray my mother gets a good occupation that’s not straining where she can peacefully retire. Peace! Yeah, I need to pray for peace, for her and for me. I’ll keep that.

BLM

Eczema Sucks, 8/28/22.

Last Wednesday, I believe, I was at work and my deodorant stopped deodorizing. Now, I had showered the afternoon/ evening before after work, and I didn’t think I needed to shower again Wednesday morning, but I was mostly wrong. During a break at work, I was able to come out of my t-shirt/ undershirt, wash my underarms in the restroom, and put more deodorant on went back to work.

I came home and decided to use a washcloth again, only on specific parts, but I couldn’t find any of mine, so I used a real thin dishcloth from a previous job. When I was diagnosed with eczema several years ago, I was told I can’t use washcloths on my skin. And eczema was picking on me this summer, and it sucked. There are times where if I bumped into something, my skin would itch uncomfortably, and I wouldn’t be able to scratch it away. I couldn’t stomp or land hardly on the ground because my feet would itch uncomfortably. I wouldn’t clap my hands because there would be pain.

So, I was limited to different products, like free and clear detergent, soap with no fragrance, and lotion with no fragrance. I was able to use the original Dove bar, but since I’ve been getting eczema reactions, I may go back to fragrance free Dove. And I believe heat can be a factor. All in all, I need to stay in a regimen and leave room for improvement.

When that deodorant went out on me, it put me back in a previous (traumatic) moment. I felt insecure about not smelling fresh or not smelling like anything. And that antiperspirant/ deodorant has been good to me, but my underarms wanted to say something that day. I wonder if I have sensitive skin or passive-aggressive skin. When I come home from work, my perspiration/ body odor comes alive. I wished I had the pH I had 20 years ago because there were no real issues, but I grew up, and I guess my body wanted to change the pH over the years. I wonder if it’s what I’m eating, my physical activity, my mental state, or a combination of everything. I hope I get better at keeping it at bay.

I used the makeshift washcloth, and after a few days itching occurred on my chest around my armpits, and I didn’t used it for a while because I forgot. I purchased a washcloth, but I’m going to be meticulous about what parts of my body I’ll use it on. Eczema is no joke, and with more knowledge and wisdom I will handle it better.

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

Something, 8/25/22.

I have a heavy heart about a few things, but what I’m going to say is added to it. A long while ago while in school, I drove a few students, without charging them might I add, to church, a Chinese church. Later on in life, we’re living our own lives, as we should, but I noticed that they would get likes and birthday wishes on their posts on Facebook from the younger folks, folks I spent time with a little bit on the weekends, and I don’t get a peek, and I’m the one who drove the admired ones to church. I love the younger folks, and maybe I’m not clicking the “like” button on their statuses, but I noticed that stuff. Sometimes, I wonder if it’s because I’m of a darker skin tone, or I come from a different background, but it’s something that I emotionally deal with.

BLM

Something, 8/10/22.

Tuesday, I did 2 comedic open mics. The first one was cool, but the second one I didn’t want to do because I was in my feelings. I didn’t want to do what I told myself I was going to do: work blue. I never use profanity in my sets. I used profanity at the second mic because somebody said I should cuss onstage. What was crazy was that the person wasn’t there to listen. I did it, unwritten and slightly improvised, and I was horrible. some thought it was funny, but for me I was completely terrible. If I’m in front of an audience and they only find the cuss words funny, I’m in trouble. I am writing comedy that’s challenging my creativity, using what I have in my brain to create something funny.

There’s a part of me that wants to please the leaders in the scene, and that’s placed in a trash can, doused in gasoline, and lit. I stand by myself in while growing in comedy because there are times when I’m good I’m accepted by some comedians, but when I’m not no one is around me (there are comedians who won’t look my way unless I’m on point and funny to their standards. That’s too much pressure). If I’m doing stand-up to make them happy and be included, I need to quit and take mental evaluation. I’ve started to separate myself and work on what I do because I’m not happy with what’s going on. There are moments where I feel left behind, but that may be a good thing. Instead of trying to grow with others, I’m growing on my own. I am building where the vibes are positive.

I hate using profanity on stage. It was a moment I never want to repeat again. I may do an explanation to discuss why I chose to work “clean.” I don’t use profanity in real life, so I don’t think it’s useful in my comedy. I did it as an experiment, testing the waters, and the result was it was tainted. Now, it’s time to clean what’s tainted and do something I can smile about.

BLM

F*** Your Heroes, 7/31/22.

This is my inner hater talking, maybe. And this will be everywhere, so :P. I just saw a movie that pulled on my heartstrings, and earlier I saw a post on Facebook of a friend doing his thing with the worship team at a church. It was cool, but I was jealous. This dude was positively raised to be a leader, and he should know that.

I think a lot of us want that leader spot, to be looked up to as someone important. I saw it in school, church, work, comedy, and other spots I can’t mention, and if I do, I’ll get shot. Some of us have the charisma to leadership, some skills, and some responsibility. I don’t think folks think of being the hero as much as the leader. I don’t think heroes get the spotlight like leaders do. I think some leaders want the spotlight so that they can feel important, have fame, money, attention, booty, etc. Heroes, genuine heroes, make changes for the better, I think. It’s not about them. It’s about changing things for the better, improving the lives of the folks around them.

I don’t think people want the hero roll because they won’t be seen. Heroes don’t have to be seen. We see Superman and Spider-Man and think that’s how it’s supposed to be, maybe a Michael Jordan to LeBron James or a Muhammad Ali, maybe a Harry Belafonte or a Jay-Z to Lil Wayne. One of my musical heroes, Slick Rick, was as flashy as they came, but behind all of the gold he wore was a fantastic mind that created great raps through storytelling. Those are celebrities, and they got a spotlight on them, but what about the people who don’t wear “capes?” Some want to be heroes but get the spotlight, and that’s for them. I want to do heroic things and get some credit, mainly because I’ve seen others make moves similar to mine but receive more love. I’ve watched my peers have leadership rolls and I wondered, “How did they get there when anyone can do it?” I heard everyone is a leader, and I didn’t believe it. I felt like people picked their leaders because of their charisma, how they carried themselves, and their appearance, similar to Saul. But heroes, like David, they just did what they needed to do without telling people “Look at me.” What I really need to do is make things better around me and influence others to do the same, whether it’s small or big.

I may not get to understand the roll of a leader and a hero in my lifetime, but at my age I should choose to be a hero. Real heroes to me are parents who raise their children to be adults. Real heroes taught people to be smarter, wiser, and more intelligent than the world wants them to be. Real heroes led people to freedom. Real heroes had flaws. Real heroes don’t need the ego-raising spotlight. Sign me up for that.

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

Brandon’s Poetry Corner, 7/21/22.

Forty/ Fortys/ Forties

I would love to be rich and live poor,

have folk asking, “Why do you have that old Saturn for?”

I would let them know that it’s sentimental.

It was my first car, so it means more.

Plus, it’s dedicated to my aunt who passed from cancer.

She had it first. I may choke up when I give the answer.

If I see her in Heaven, it’d be monumental.

There’s a big “thank you” that I have to hand her.

She prayed for my trip to Ghana.

To be able to walk African grounds is an honor.

I need some pineapples exported from there.

I was glad to be away from American drama.

And China was a nice trip.

My emotions weren’t up to par, and I slipped,

but I made friends with the locals, and I shared

my time with them. If I return, Mandarin will be equipped.

Seminary was an experience.

If I decide to go back, I’ll have more cents.

I want to work for my degree, not stack up the loans

and also leave out of there with more common sense.

Now days, I have to work another job for the bonus

just to make do, not to keep up with the Jones.

I’ve been on my feet so much that my ankles groan.

I want to improve my finances and own it.

I would love to be a husband in honest fashion.

It took of years to forgive deceitful actions.

And the world is better off without deadbeats.

It’s always messed up whenever it happens.

Thanks to the Lord, I’m letting go of bitterness.

I would have died earlier dealing with that mess.

It’s hard enough trying to stand on my feet.

I stand up against the negativity and progress.

I stay in the Word. I’ll keep the habit.

I need to pray more and not make it passive.

And it has been a long road with the Lord,

and the road seems promising, so I’ll keep at it.

I’ll mix the tears with the laughter.

I’m very blessed that depression isn’t my master.

And with me getting older, I continue to press forward

with Jesus as He makes out my next chapter.

For my birthday… And I’m just getting started.

BLM