I didn’t post anything on Sunday because I was lazy and tired. A lot has gone on since then. I went out to meet someone for the first time, and most likely the last. Although I thought it was a good time, one question of mine determined whether or not she wanted to continue developing with me. She wanted to be friends or pen pals. I thought we were just being friends at first since we really haven’t talked to each other that much. I was bummed because I liked talking with her, and also that I had to start all over again.
After a chapter was closed with one person, I decided to check out a person who sent me something a while ago, but I couldn’t get to it on time. I saw her on another site, and sent her a message. We sent a few messages back and forth including phone calls, and she wanted to meet me. I recalled her response later, and she said she did, but there were some things she needed clarification from. I thanked her for being honest with me, because the females in my past weren’t that honest with their situations. Sometime later, she said she wanted to meet me, and she said she liked talking to me. I’m thinking, “Oh, shoot. What’s going on?”
As a single male, I need to learn about my character. I also needed to know my pluses and minuses and accept my imperfections as well as what’s good about me. God had to reveal things to me, especially after 2012. I wasn’t thinking about God that much because I was disappointed about situations going on. I needed to grow, like how Joseph in the Old Testament needed to grow while being a slave and being in prison because it prepared him to do what God called him to do. Yes, while I’m single, I need to grow how God wants me to grow. I also needed to learn from my previous love encounters. I don’t think I could go through those encounters and move forward like it was nothing. I needed to learn something so that I may not make the mistake(s) again. And I may have said some of this before somewhere else.
The biggest thing I learned from my previous love encounters is that if there’s no Jesus, there am no me (there am no me?). I’m a Christian, and I’ve learned the hard way that I can’t be unequally yoked. We both must follow Christ. There are people who don’t care about those things, and I believe that men have denounced what they believed in so that they can get the girl. I have learned to interact with a woman who shares the same faith as I do, and that can move things forward.
Another important thing I learned is that I can’t deal with young women who are still in love with an ex-boyfriend or something else. That puts a wound in the heart, I believe. Two people can be dating, and later on one of them recalls feelings of an ex, and that can be unfair to the other person. What if they love that person while the other is still in love with the ex? I would not ask that question, and if they are, I won’t want to date them. I would encourage them to sort out their feelings while they’re single before they get into another relationship so that the next person won’t feel like the bronze metal. Yes, the bronze metal. Some people feel like they lost their gold metal while they were treated like a participation trophy, or the ground/ field the players ran/ stepped on. And I have to make sure I have sorted out my feelings, coming to terms of what happened in the past, dealing with it and healing so that the next person won’t get hurt.
Another important thing I learned is that I won’t jump into a relationship. I will attempt to develop a friendship. I want to communicate with a young woman and see if we can build a good friendship. If we become good friends, I’m fine with that. If we want to consider being more than friends, we may need to talk about that because I may like our communication as friends, and it was our friendship that elevated us to become more. So, I encourage a good friendship before a relationship.
There was a time when I wanted a relationship so bad. Now, I would love to be in a relationship, but I would more rather seek Christ and get more revelation and be developed into a Christ-centered single male that may lead to me being in a relationship.
And I’m just getting started.