Disclaimer: When I wrote this, it was 2012, and I was influenced by Jean Grae’s song, “U&Me&EveryoneWeKnow.” After hearing it, I wanted to do something like it (:P Yeah, that’s messed up). This doesn’t speak about one particular person. It gives a little history about what I went through being single with the love bugs flying around and how I can deal with it. I got the “Front Street…” title from an artist named Phat Cat, where it means to call someone/ something out, and I’m calling myself out to share these experiences. This was a part of healing, hopefully something that could help break out of mazes. With that being said, here’s the poem.
Front Street: A Release Drawing
This is not broke-back. I was supposed to quit you.
On top of that, I was supposed to forget, too.
When it came to communication, I may have been like baggy spandex; I wasn’t a fit for you.
I’m not putting myself down.
I did that for years internally. What a lonely town.
Because of that, I had to move my temple.
It was messing with my attic or mental.
Not to mention my property value was dropping. The Lord was my real estate agent and was stopping the nonsense I put on myself.
And it comes to this situation where I sought Him for help.
I admit. I wanted more out of the time spent.
The in betweens makes me wonder where the time went.
And I may wonder if that time spent was correct. There were a lot of times where I had to recollect.
I was scared of crossing paths again.
I wasn’t like that before. I was carefree then.
I would disagree with you calling me a friend.
To make it less hurtful, I would put it to an end.
And I was running from my problems. My problems had nothing to do with friendship. It was about having more than that, a dream of mine.
When we first started speaking, everything seemed fine.
I guess time changed things. I had the breaks where I was gone to another state. I wasn’t very sharp on my updates.
If I found out about something, I was late.
I was sad. I felt I was the last to know.
Maybe I shouldn’t have taken it personal.
Maybe it was not any of my business.
If anything took trial, I wouldn’t be a witness.
So, I must face this if we ever cross paths. Old emotions may return. No denial.
This, like all other trials, will pass because something in me wants to reconcile.
Forgiving and forgetting in prayer must run. Why?
Because letting it all go is hard to come by.
I would be silly to hold onto nothing.
To say I’m over it all would mean I’m bluffing.
I have more peace now. I really needed it.
Tension was hungry in the past, I refuse to feed it.
I was getting tense around you. What can I say?
We were changing. I didn’t want to get in your way.
The fear decreased, and I’m living for the present.
Much love because I’m blessed in development.
Now, I pray everything for you is well.
Will we ever cross paths again? Only time will tell.
And I’m just getting started.