About last week, I went through a few dreams. I remember one of them as it revealed something I didn’t really deal with yet. In the dream I was going about doing a few activities. I end up in a room while a young woman, supposedly a roommate, getting her clothes ready. As she was on the ironing board, she asks me why I didn’t go with the group for some group went out somewhere, and I believe I replied that I had something to do. There was another scene in the dream, and I wake up.
Throughout that day (and week), I reflected on the dream I had. As I was talking with the Lord, I shared how I don’t like being left out (I didn’t say left out then, more like excluded). When I addressed it, I felt peace inside of me. In the dream, I had chose to stay back, but in reality I would do that in response of how I felt at the time, and I never dealt with how I didn’t like being left out. It started when I was little, not being picked for kickball, or doing something right and having others hate me for it, including followers. thee things were shaping me, and now I want to deprogram that.
I’m addressing how I don’t like being left out because there may be others who feel the same way, the reasons for being left out could be rubbish and/ or petty. I understand if the person is bringing forth bad behavior with no desire to change, but if it’s for shallow reasons I would be better off being on my own because I wouldn’t want that shallowness in my life. There were times where it happened, and I went and did my thing, and later it seemed that I was better off. Some people have enough on their plate with everyday struggles, and others want to add exclusion on their plate? I would rather keep it off.
As of today, I feel better sine the revelation. I will try to follow up on it. I can see how it can be a spiritual attack, whereas others may see it on surface level. For me, acknowledging it is a giant step in the process, something I want to deal with and move forward.
And I’m just getting started.