I took another break. It wasn’t because I needed a breather. It was because I was burned out. I was burned out in various areas, and it affected my creativity. I have some nice ideas, but no drive. I’m preparing to do a huge project next year, and my motivation level is low, so I need to go into why I said, “I don’t want to write right now.”
On the surface, I was occupied with other things. Work helps bring income, which is good, but my mind was focused on work and how I was to conduct myself as an employee. I want to strive to have new employment so that I can either earn more money or work based on my educational/ vocational criteria.
Also, I was disappointed. I felt a few people let me down. It was crazy because I was thinking, “Let them do them.” Distancing me was a bad idea, again. People are going to disappoint me and vice versa, and I’m not always going to be consistent with people and vice versa. One thing I would love to encourage is to be who we are, that’s it.
I blamed my absence of creativity on other things and people. On top of that, I lacked humility and selflessness. I was not humble for a while. I was judgmental. Some things brought me to humble, and they shouldn’t have. I became “it’s about me” because I was insecure. Now that’s brought to the table, I should give them to God since I’m Christian. The first thing I should do when dealing with these things is talk to Jesus, not dwell on insecurity, arrogance, and selfishness. Some of us go to that because we’ve done it for years. Oh, blaming others wasn’t a good idea as well.
A writer’s block may have been needed. I’m glad I had a burn out because I needed to learn from it. On top of that, my computer crashed last week. It’s weird, because I had a few situations that may seem bad, and I didn’t flip out. Am I maturing? I don’t know, but I want to keep on maturing and rising above any circumstance.
And I’m just getting started.