I thought I saw a ghost. I did, actually, in the form of an unsuccessful opportunity. Well, more than one. About a month ago, I was starting my morning shift at work, when a young woman was approaching our restaurant, asking about her card she misplaced. She thought she left it at our register. It wasn’t there, I had just arrived for my shift, and she ordered her food before I started my job. I recognized the woman, as we had taken a class in college before, and I tried to get to know her better after summer school, with hope of a relationship. She didn’t think it would work. A few years later, I found out that she was married. Fast forward to the present, I see her, and noticed that she didn’t have a ring on the left ring finger. I don’t know the situation, but with how marriage is treated in the United States, if I see a person with no wedding ring on the finger knowing that they’re married, maybe something happened. Maybe they don’t want to use wedding bands. Also, there are unmarried folks who put a ring on the left ring finger, possibly to ward people off. Later on, I thought I was better off I didn’t continue to pursue her, seeing that a lot in me has changed over the years.
Getting to the ghost thing some more, last month I was in a grocery store getting some things before going to my 2nd job, when I saw someone who reminded me of someone I met in seminary. I only saw the back of the dude’s head, but when I saw him, I immediately thought it was the dude. I was wondering, “What’s he doing in Kentucky?” if that was him. I know he is married to a person who I secretly admired back then, and they have a family. It was crazy when I found out they were dating, because I found out indirectly, and I thought the time from relationship to marriage was short. I had/ have no ill will towards the dude, but I had ill will towards the situation, what was going on during the time. Folks were acting hush-hush, and if a person wasn’t in the inner circle it was like communication was limited, at least I thought so. Fast forward to now, I’ve been focused with what’s going on around me, as some people after school do. As I said before, if it actually was the man who I met in seminary, I would wonder why he’s in my hometown. It’s not like my city is off limits. I wouldn’t think ministry would bring him to Lexington, but I could be wrong.
I would think I wouldn’t see any of the “ghosts” again based on how things ended. I believe they were put there for a reason. Honestly, I didn’t like how they ended, because they didn’t end in my favor. A whole lot of things didn’t end in my favor, but in the long run it was best because I wouldn’t have grown as much as I have. I was more stubborn then, a bit self-absorbed, and I had a whole lot of hang-ups, so to be available for a relationship could have been a disaster. I would have wanted things to go exactly my direction, I would have been stupendously disappointed at people if they had let me down, and I would have lashed out on the ones I loved more. The present self would say the previous self carried a lot of baggage. That baggage had to be dropped, unless I was doing 2 sets of 15, and then I would drop them. So, I would think, “no relationship (again) until I release the baggage.” Some may think otherwise, but based on not everyone not being the same, I’ll agree to disagree.
What would I tell folks if they’re dealing with “ghosts” while they’re single? I’m not a pro at it, and I’m far from being one, but if ever they’re dealing with “ghosts” I would say they have to be exorcised if they’re in the way of going forward. I saw those 2 examples, and I was thinking, “Something’s up.” I was supposed to see something, and it was to help me. I hope that anyone who are dealing with “ghosts” can properly handle them in maturity. For some, it’s easy to get rid of their ghosts, and I admire that. I inspire to do that, and hope for others to do the same.
And I’m just getting started.