Could I do it?

While I was coming from by break at work, I saw a child sitting on the floor having a tantrum over not getting the candy she wanted. Her mother told her she already had 2 pieces of candy from the machine, but I guess she wanted a particular flavor/ color based on my observation. Months ago, a toddler cried/ screamed the whole time at the food court, even irrationally shoving away the food the parent was trying to give her. Around the same time, a girl ran and hid from her mother behind a column, maybe because she wanted something or wanted to go somewhere. Her mother grabbed her wrist and took her to the chosen destination.

I don’t have any children. I don’t want to tell folks how to handle the situations because I’m not a parent. I would wonder how I would handle a situation of a child throwing a fit. I think about how my mother would have handled it, because I had my share of fits. With my brother, she channeled his fits out, and it irritated me when he would cry for something, like McDonald’s. I was like, “be quiet!” And I would think of a punishment like a whupping if a kid was acting “bad.” Now, I think it’s not the go-to. It’s more stereotypical, like in certain cultures where it’s assumed children are sent to time-out.

If I become a father, I wouldn’t know what I would do as far as disciplining my child/ children. If they have a tantrum at a store or mall, I wouldn’t know how to deal with it. I would think to take them outside of the establishment to decrease embarrassment. I don’t know if I would handle it like my mother, because she seemed to deflect the cries and demands. What I would think about doing is let my child/ children know beforehand that when they go into the store (or any other place) that they are not getting anything (it’s most likely a candy or a toy). They may ask, but they will already know the answer: no. I may purchase candy for them if they’re cool/ good, but I want them to know that if I say no, I mean no. That would be something I would have to develop in myself. If they throw a fit, I will let them know about the consequences of throwing a fit, in hopes that the next time they want to have a fit they’ll think about the consequences and keep calm. None of us are fully well-behaved, at least I don’t think so, but it’s good to try. Some of us went to a level where our parents wasn’t concerned that we would do something against their principals out of spite.

I don’t want to be the parent that would “get the belt” at the drop of a dime. I would use “the belt” when the child/ children does something so messed up and beyond time-out or taking away the computer. If a child is caught stealing from the store, does that call for a whupping? If a child tries to set a trash can on fire at school, does that call for intervention into why that behavior is happening? If a child makes a few unworthy grades on a report card, what’s the disciplinary action? Some have disciplined properly, some too severely, and some not effectively, based on how the child/ children is/ are at adult age. I think my mother raised me to pass high school not to be out in the street (I’m not saying that being out in the street is a bad thing. It’s more like what I would be doing out in the street). I need to thank her again for that. I wouldn’t want to do anything that’s on the level of child abuse, but I want to be that parent that doesn’t play around when it comes to raising a child and laying down the rules.

I don’t know what kind of parent I will be. I don’t if I’ll be a parent. Before I am called up to be a parent, I hope to build up a responsibility that says, “I can do this.” I hope to be a good parent. I don’t hear about anybody saying, “I’m ready to be a parent” when the time comes. In the entertainment/ media, some play it like, “what am I going to do?” I wouldn’t want parenting to be perceived this way. I think this world needs parents to raise children into responsible adults, and disciplining should be a part of it.

 

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

NRTSU2

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One thought on “Could I do it?

  1. This is a very interesting topic. I do believe parenting is hard. I think parents have to talk to their children more and explain to them “why” they can’t have something. I don’t think it does anything to just say “because I said so”. I would tell them, “No, you can’t have that toy because it costs more money than Mommy has right now.” Explain how money and acquiring things works at their age level. Kids are smarter than adults give them credit for. A 6 year-old is old enough to be taught about money. For example, while at home give your child $5. Then tell them to go get some of their toys. Give each toy a price and let the child pretend like they are shopping. As they go around they will realize..oh wow..that bear costs $10. I only have $5 so I can’t have that bear. That is just an example.

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