After 2 years of posting anything on YouTube and 3 years of posting any new material on YouTube, I finally posted a new beat. It’s sloppy, but it’s sloppy, and it’s there. For the longest time, I was going to do a project in between projects, something to keep the creative juices fresh. I stopped being creative in music and writing in 2015/ 2016 because I was thrown off when I had to leave a job I liked. Really, I put the blame on myself because I chose not to press on.
I wasn’t lazy, though. I have been playing/ practicing the ukulele off and on. I have about 4 of them now. I also purchased/ adopted a cajón and small percussion instruments. My goal was to make music, get more instruments, and share what I’ve done. I was also wanting to be more technical so that I can know more of the software that I’m using. The most recent goal was to share it, and if folks liked them enough to maybe use them, we could negotiate something. Now, I just want to get moderately creative and still to it until I croak.
I needed motivation. Back then, I don’t know where it came from. I did things for fun, I had support, or I was trying to be like someone like J Dilla. What motivates me now? I want to finish what I started. There’s music I’m planning to dedicate to folks, and I don’t want to back out of it. There are stories I want to write. I’m currently open to say these things because back then my mind was on some other stuff that was either unnecessary or it should have been shut off.
I went to a gravesite to pay a visit because it was something I do every year, and it took too long to go this year. It was a moment, and I was inspired. Whatever weight I was carrying was released, or a good amount of it. I’m slow at being creative, but I’m back at it. What’s scary is that I don’t want to disappoint, but I’ll be disappointing myself if I don’t go through with it all. The first step may be saying to myself I don’t have to be perfect and I don’t need to quit if I don’t get it right the first time. So, music and writing will be more prominent if it’s willed and as I pray about it. If I don’t do it, who will? Time to go forward.
I’m just getting started.