I’m going to share 2 pictures…
These are pictures of my arms, in the bend. If people can see, there are spots, blackheads, what used to be blackheads, and possible bumps. A long time ago, I was breaking out with eczema on my arms. It started back in 2012 while working at an Amazon warehouse. The side of my elbow(s) were itching, and I thought nothing of it. Later on in life, the itching came back and it got worse. I went to the clinic and they gave me some ointment, and it worked for a while by suppressing the itch, but it didn’t take it out. The doctor may have attributed it to my health. As it got worse and little bumps were showing up, I was using the ointment, a Eucerin lotion, and occasional Neosporin.
There was a moment where I couldn’t take the itching anymore. I was going to go to a demonologist, and I called a clinic, yet it didn’t take my healthcare, so I backed out so that I could look for somewhere else. At the same time, I thought about why I had eczema, not physically but beyond that. There were things I bottled up and didn’t deal with, so I thin it manifested into my skin condition. So, I had a little talk with the Lord, something that I still do and must do more of, and one evening I went to the store to look for something for me skin. There was a small selection for eczema, and I found a special Neosporin for eczema. I went home to try it, and it reduced the itching, which was something I wanted. The redness and the visible appearance later went down.
I was very thankful that the eczema went down, yet the bumps still existed. They didn’t itch, and I wasn’t insecure about the bumps. If I had a choice between having eczema or having bumps on my arms, I’m choosing the bumps. Now, I have the marks. The bumps don’t exist, and keep tabs on my skin, trying to use the Neosporin every day. I forget sometimes because my mind is on too much stuff, but I continue to use it.
As I said before, I rather have the bumps over eczema, and I wasn’t self-conscious about the marks on my arm, no insecurities there. I had insecurities in other areas that had nothing to do with my skin. I wasn’t confident in myself in different areas like friendships, work and earning power, image, and love. I think some of it manifested into things like eczema, as I said before. The biggest thing that helped me was dealing with my problems. The world may say one thing or more about what it takes to be accepted into the world, and it may not be a good thing. I would have ended up like the Frankenstein monster. I had to have conversations with the Lord and myself so that I can know who I am (sounds crazy right, :P). I’m still on that path, and it will be ongoing. I’m joyful to know that there’s healing when I stop covering up the problems and bring them forward. I was ashamed of myself, and that was a mistake. I was comparing myself to others, and that was a big mistake. I’m glad I took out the biggest mistake in my opinion, holding problems in.
It is late, and I’m going to go off of the topic to say happy new year, and I pray and hope that everyone who is driving is safe, and that they pay attention to the road and make wise driving decisions. Also, I pray for people who are dealing with problems that manifests into something beyond comprehension to be healed, inside and out. Take care of yourselves and keep progressing.
And I’m just getting started.