Something Small, 3/24/17.

  • Next month, I’m supposed to be getting more hours at work because one of the managers will be leaving for a trip for a few weeks. The only thing I want to happen is that I get one day off in the week, one day off. I don’t want to be worked and overworked because a manager is scared they’ll be undermanned. We have weekdays where there’s boring periods. It’s the weekends where we’ll get more money. I understand if someone has a sick leave (which we currently have), but to doubt that we need help… no. We need three more people, one being a cashier.
  • I like watching wrestling entertainment, and last week a female wrestler had her information hacked and leaked onto the internet. The information included photos and videos of adult content. It is wrong for her property to be leaked out onto the internet without her permission, and I hope justice is served for her and everyone who is innocent in this ordeal. What I don’t understand is why save a video (and photos) with adult content on an online saving space. Those things will stir up more drama than videos showing girls fighting. It’s got people on the internet posting comments, good and messed up, on YouTube pages, twitter, and message boards. And the video(s) were kept long after the hacked victim has moved on with her life, and they could have been deleted. Maybe it was forgotten, yet something like that is huge. For me, it’s like seeing a boulder, forgetting it’s there, walking towards it, and bumping myself onto the boulder thinking I had a clear path. I really hope things get settled with the woman and she can rise above what happened. It is a crime to expose their personal property without their consent.
  • Politics can get messed up. Some people on the right wing don’t like the people on the left wing, and they need each other to fly.
  • If I get my work schedule in order to where I get an early leave, I will start writing stories. It’s time to grow more in writing.

 

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

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Last Year in Review.

Last year was… an experience. There were a lot of things that happened that changed the course of my life, and I will do my best to recap them. Let’s go.

  • Employment- I had to change employment 2 times last year because I had to leave my other job, not because I wanted to. I did two things I thought I wouldn’t do: do janitorial work and work a cashier. I currently like the job I have, better than the last one, but I would like to get something that boosts my financial situation.
  • Relationships- I had to think of myself as a villain based on how I treated others sometimes. I wanted to take a break from some social activities because of how I felt. I got that break, but after that I realized some folks wanted me around. They want my company. I was selfish in my actions, and that selfishness hindered growth. I have to have a personal conversation with myself a few times over that, and I still do. Perhaps wanting to break away out of unprocessed emotions is an old demon, so I must have it taken out. One thing I’m learning from last year is to be there and be like, “What’s going on? Let’s deal with it.” I’m easing out of the timid mess. I have to be open to being a friend, a listener, and to make new friends.
  • Politics- I don’t claim a party, not right now. I haven’t been doing my job of praying for Christian leaders. And now, I need to pray for my country to wake up. A lot to things go on in the country that people aren’t aware of, maybe because they’re not in front news, or maybe because they don’t care. I may get the “This is not my America,” or “I didn’t vote for this,” or “We’re better off without..,” but the country I live in is made up of a lot of things, and trying to graft them out may be a mistake, whether it’s culture of people groups. I think my country has lost some respect, and I think it’s going to take a lot of prayer to get new respect.
  • Spirituality- It was a blessing to be consistent in reading the Bible. I learned a bit from the books even though some of the things I read were challenging. I said to myself next year I wanted to add one more book since I was reading three, and I was preparing myself for it. I was also blessed to have prayers answered, like being delivered from anxiety. I completely forgot about it for months until now, and I remembered thanking God during my former second shift for the deliverance. I also thanked God for helping me get rid of my tonsil stones. I realized that if God said “no” to a prayer request, I was okay with it because He was talking to me. Most of my conversations with Him were while driving the car.

This year, I want it to be an upgrade. My goals are continuing from last year with a few additions: get swimming lessons, continue to read the Bible, become debt free, increase the quality in employment based on my qualities/ experience, get in a relationship, become selfless, become more kind instead of nice, get wiser, become consistent with blogging, regain my love/ interest in music/ art, and be more open to myself and folks around me.

It’s time to get uncomfortable.

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

Brandon’s Rhyme (Writing) Corner.

Coffin

(Lord) I had a change in my attitude. Back then, I would resort to extort nihilism and be rude.

I didn’t like surprise changes. Old-new news was like strangers. How could I explain it? It may be like waking up in the afternoon instead of morning. It throws me off while I’m yawning.

The old me is expressed every so often, but I want him popped off and laying in the coffin.

I must read the Bible every day, getting in line. During the day, I should put in more time to pray.

And I want to keep the habit. I’m waiting for the time to meet You, Lord. I got to have it.

Heaven or Hell. I don’t care where I go. I want to know if I can see Your face. For sure, not for show.

I used to believe in things that proved to be temporary. Now, I have better guidance. Life is far from imaginary.

I know there are people who don’t believe You. They want a sign, a miracle, and to “see” You.

And I know I’m far from off when I’m far from being condemned and (my) condemnation is in the coffin.

 

Six feet deep. Six feet deep? I need my sins to be buried further and eternally sleep.

All that growing up built up my character. I tried to be on Earth just as an inhabiter.

But I make moves often. I serve God, hopefully to have all my sins in a coffin.

 

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

181578_692030788073_134950_n

Atonement, drawn 12/2010. I was inspired to draw this while in seminary. I think the letter to the Colossians was involved.

 

 

 

Something Small, 7/9/16.

  • Several years ago, I was in an office of a career counselor. They saw that I had an English degree. The person asked me why I didn’t use it. I gave a runaround answer. I really didn’t have an answer. I didn’t know what do to with my degree, I was afraid to look, and once I tried looking for work based around it I would quit shortly after because I got discouraged. Bouncing around jobs really wasn’t comfortable, especially when I didn’t finish seminary. I didn’t seeing bouncing through jobs in my plans. But since then, I’ve been more focused instead of going wherever the wind takes me. I’m proud of working somewhere for more than a year. As far as careers, my dream is to work on music, to get paid for my beats, if they’re really good. What is more realistic is working somewhere based on my experience(s) and qualifications (:P). What I need to work hard for is working in my field, whether based around English or ministry. There will always be obstacles, whether it’s myself, others, and/ or possibly time. I rather not have folks in my way, but it will most likely happen. I don’t want to ponder on it too much, but rather do what I like and what is appropriate.
  • I need to explain the last poetry corner, “Stint.” I wrote that based on the time I had during the 2nd shift job I had. I was thinking about MF Doom’s “Doomsday” while I was writing, to get into the feel and possibly write better, I was feeling like I didn’t care what happened to me during my job, as if I was brave (a bit foolishly brave), I was hearing what some folks suggested, but it seemed like it didn’t go with me. My attitude was sour, and it needed to change. So, what was written was a love letter to everyone, including me. Folks said they missed me, and I was nonchalant when they said it. I wasn’t as bright, and I hoped this would catch anyone up, allow them to move forward, and for me to brighten up on the inside. Thanks to everyone who checked out and/ or liked it.
  • I have been asked by a few people about seminary recently. I had a conversation with God a while before that, explaining why I didn’t want to return and it was for small stuff that happened in the past that should have not held weight. I reluctantly said I would go back. I didn’t want to go back, all because of something minor, not getting back into the dorm. I wasn’t ready for the responsibility of an apartment, or any change that was huge for me. I thought I would be overwhelmed going to school, living in an apartment paying rent, and having a job all at once, and some folks do that. So I’m saying to myself to let go of any hang-ups and grow up some more. I won’t be back in seminary any time soon, but it’s on my list.
  • These last few days have been messed up for America. Two Black males have been shot and killed by police and a person or people have shot at police, killing a few, and injuring the others. The way Black males are viewed by the police and how the Black community view police needs to change now. The deaths of the 2 Black males didn’t make sense to me, and the shooting and killing of the police didn’t make sense to me, either. I’m just a male behind a keyboard, but this voice I’m using can spread. Black people have a culture of our own in America, but it shouldn’t be viewed as a threat. It’s like any other ethnic culture in America. I believe a lot of fear (propaganda) is involved, and it should be put to rest. I’m going to close this by praying for all of the families involved in the tragedies, and say my name is Brandon and I am Black.

 

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

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Something Small, 6/27/16.

  • One of my pet peeves at my 2nd shift job was that people threw trash in the bins only for linens (they have blue bags for the linens). Since the bins are trash cans used to discard of linens, people used them as trash cans. It’s possible that they don’t know, or they don’t care. There are signs that read “(soiled) linens only,” but it didn’t stop people, whether it’s patients or staff (yes, staff were doing it, too). I saw a printed sign that read “No Trash Soiled Linen Only,” and it looked very straight to the point, and one night I swiped it, made copies of it, and placed a copy on one of the frequented offended linen bins. I accidently left a few of the copies out on a table, and I thought I would be in trouble since I used a copier there (I’m not on their staff, and their machine wasn’t locked). I didn’t care. I still did it, and a few weeks ago the staff did throw things in there based on the type of trash thrown in there. We need to have decency. I’m no longer at that place, anymore, not solely because of the pet peeve.
  • I’m the type of person who likes to stick to a schedule. I’m learning that about myself. If I’m told 9, it means I’ll be there around 9. I was asked to see a movie with some people last weekend. I was told the time. I left early to get the ticket, and I texted a few people, saying they should get their ticket early. After taking care of things at home, I go near the destination. I receive a text saying that they will be late because of lunch, I think. I was thrown off, and after a few more texts, I decide to see something else. I didn’t feel like waiting to see a movie later on, I was at least 25 minutes away from home, and I didn’t want to change the ticket another time. Based on what happened, my forgiveness level, adaptability, and negotiation abilities need an upgrade. I was thinking, “I should cuss them out (non-Christian, right?),” but it wouldn’t help, since I don’t know what was going on at the other end.
  • I no longer have 2 jobs. I would still consider having a 2nd one, only if it’s not physically stressful. It would be cool to be a delivery driver again, if my vehicle is up to grade. I would rather have another vehicle to make deliveries. There are a few things I would like to do in regards as a second job. I would like to journey into editing, or getting into making beats (music) again, if it’s good and folks like it.
  • I adopted a new instrument last weekend. Her name is Elaine, and she’s a concert ukulele. There may be 2 more main instruments I want to adopt, and getting a guitar will be challenging for me, for I may tune it and mark it like a ukulele. I will also need to learn how to strum better, gain that confidence. I would love to regain the hobby of music again, and sustain the love (I’m embarrassing my brother at home right now playing the ukulele, at home).
  • I try to stay consistent in the church. This week, I will try to get into some of the ministries I used to be in since I was in 2nd shift. It will be difficult because I wonder if things have changed or not. If things haven’t changed, I may say something.

 

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

NRTSU2

Brandon’s Poetry/ Writing Corner, 6/22/16.

Stint

 

Why do a certain few go through heartaches?

I guess divine intervention knows what their hearts can take.

Some put their hearts in and receive heartache.

I’m offended because I see the love their hearts can make.

It seems people know what’s good for me,

Where I should go or who I should be.

For some strange reason, that would make me happy,

But God knows my steps. I should tell them, “Get at me.”

Sometimes, I think it’s for hidden reasons.

Paranoid, right? I hope it’s for a season.

Getting out of funks, I’m blessed I’m breathing.

It’s tough getting on a path with a faith I believe in.

I get tired of people wondering if I’m okay

Because the question has already been played.

Folks need to know I may struggle day to day

And it may be for the best if I’m molded like clay.

Just be in prayers that I’m not being broken,

Made into a whipping post, made into a token.

Predators seek the gullible and others not noted.

Get rid of them all and have the news spoken.

There are bits in me that need to be corrected.

I push away whenever I fell disrespected.

The situations that need attention get neglected.

I need to shape it up and be gracefully inspected.

In the mirror of my mind I say, “I need correction,”

Like how I respond when things don’t go my direction.

It may be for the best in future reflection

And the Lord may be doing it for my own protection.

Folks don’t need to worry about me. I’ll wait

For this stint to be over. Now and later, I’ll celebrate.

I’m learning how to drop dead weight

And carry the rest if it’s part of my fate.

I don’t think there will be any impromptu hunts.

I’m sticking to the path which may have new stunts.

I’ll be fine as long as I don’t send through fronts.

Folks know where to find me. They’ll see me in a few months.

 

And I’m just getting started.

BLM

NRTSU2

 

 

Brandon’s Writing Corner, 6/19/16.

These are a few small writings that were done within several years, and I saw them on my desk and thought to share them.

Sour Disposal

Why do you have a sour heart? Did you leave it out? Did you want to keep it fresh? I would like for your heart to be fresh, and remove the sourness, the rottenness. Everything that is past its date, left to collect what was in the air, must go. If you need a heart, make sure it grows right. The cruelties of life will get in the air and may cause your heart to sour, but I encourage you to keep refreshing your heart.

 

Hotpot Love Affair

I would see her every now and then, I couldn’t recognize her.

We met briefly in Illinois, then again in St. Louis.

We first started to know each other in L.A.

We have a hotpot love affair and it can be so nice.

I hope it develops into something that mainly has rice.

 

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