Last year, I wrote a simple message at the end of my post, which basically said for men not to put their hands on women. A while before I wrote that, I was told that someone I’m close to had put hands on his (former) significant other. When I found out, I was disappointed because I know a bit of his character. This person may want to have things his way or think they don’t have to take any real responsibility, but it shouldn’t give him permission to put hands on a woman, especially when he wasn’t raised to do such things.
I don’t know where he got the idea to hit women from. It’s possible that he was influenced by the music he listened to/ movies he watched. It could be possible that he was influenced by the lifestyle he saw in entertainment. It could be possible that he was influenced by the lifestyle he wanted to live. I truly don’t know. I can only guess.
There are men out there who have the charm, the game, the swagger to attract women, but how they treat women afterward is a turn-off. There are men out there who have the finances, the employment, and proper habitation that screams stability, but something is going on in their head that is off. I don’t know how true the stories are of how the guy was nice in the beginning but later on he becomes either possessive or controlling or a combination of both. These dudes are able to get the ladies, but I don’t know what’s going on in their head to use things like physical harm to be in control of the situation. Now, I want to build to have the finances, the employment, the habitation, but I hope being possessive and controlling doesn’t come with it. The messed-up part is that I could be one of those dudes. I have “daddy” issues and things I fully haven’t dealt with from my past, but I know that there will be consequences if I lash out. Maybe I’ll get therapy when I get in a relationship.
And I’m not putting down men who are charming or have proper stability. I’m not condoning those who physically express their frustration towards women, whether or not they seem to be well off. It seems like men don’t show any signs of being abusive until something throws them off. Alcohol is an example of that. If alcohol is a problem, some dudes will bring out their Mr. Hyde on the ones they’re closest to, and that’s not good. It’s easy to say women should immediately get away from the abuse if they no longer want to experience it, but there’s a psychological element that makes it complicated. I had a few women I tried to form a relationship with, and later on they showed their other side through shouting at me over something small or telling me what to do. ought to do, and I ended up ghosting them/ not communicating with them anymore. If I can’t take that mess, I can’t imagine what women experience with dudes wanting to intimidate them.
With all that I’m hearing about and learning, I must evaluate myself and see if I have any ticks in me that are harmful to women or the ones closest to me. I have been overbearing towards my younger brother and them, but I have calmed down since then because it was bad to put that on him, and I have to live with that. I want us as men to learn how to treat women, but before that we must learn that how we treat others should be a result of how we treat ourselves. If we treat ourselves right, is it messed up to treat others foul? I think so. Again, I’ll say to the women, men ought not to put their hands on them.
BLM
No Rug to Sweep Under. 